Know My Name by Chanel Miller

“You took away my worth, my privacy, my energy, my time, my safety, my intimacy, my confidence, my own voice. Until today.”

5/5 stars.
ebook, 368 pages.
Read from December 4, 2019 to December 8, 2019.

Fuck me. This book… It’s hard to put into words how great this book is and how powerfully awesome it is. When the sexual assault case with Brock Turner was all over the news I remember reading the whole impact statement from the victim, “Emily Doe”, and it hit me, hard. This unbelievable woman spoke the words that every single sexual assault survivor ever wanted to say to their perpetrators and to society. It was the most moving and empowering “fuck you” to rape culture that I’ve ever read.

In this tell-all memoir, Chanel takes you through her whole traumatic experience from start to finish. From what her life was like before the assault, to what she remembers, her experiences in court and how the drawn-out process ravaged chaos on her and family. She describes the disparity in herself as she struggles to bring Chanel and her “Emily Doe” life together. In her day to day life, no one knows she is the “Emily Doe” in this enormous news story that has captured the attention of a nation and many parts of the Western world. Her suffering is immense and so is her family’s. Her name may be protected but her family’s is not. Her sister is hassled continuously by news reporters and due to the nature of the case and her sister’s involvement, the two them cannot even discuss what happened or help each other.

“My pain was never more valuable than his potential.”

What was so important about this trial was that is shed light on rape culture. This is now a term that everyone knows about and it is partially thanks to this trial and because of Chanel’s bravery. Brock’s meagre sentencing, the bias of the judge, and Stanford’s lack of support for Chanel displays how prominent rape culture is ingrained in our society and the disservice it does sexual assault victims. Chanel brings to light that the people that commit sexual assaults are people that you know and often don’t “seem the type” to commit such acts.

“The friendly guy who helps you move and assists senior citizens in the pool is the same guy who assaulted me. One person can be capable of both. Society often fails to wrap its head around the fact that these truths often coexist, they are not mutually exclusive. Bad qualities can hide inside a good person. That’s the terrifying part.”

Chanel’s writing really allows you to step inside of her world and how she and family felt during this whole ordeal. Her writing is potent, very concise, and well-done and I’d be lying if I said I had an easy time putting this book down. Her story left me in awe after finishing it and has sat with me for some time. Chanel is immensely humble of her impact and has used her voice in the most appropriate way. This book is her reclaiming her voice and I hope she fucking makes millions from this novel. Buy this book and share with everyone you know. Do it.

Favourite Reads of 2019

2019 proved to be a difficult year for me. Thank goodness for books!


2019 proved to be a difficult year for me. Thank goodness for books! I almost didn’t make my reading goal this year but a few long flights allowed me to power through and reach 50 for the year. So without further ado, here are the five fiction and the five non-fiction books that I read in 2019 that I left the lasting impression.

Fiction:

The Nightingale
Well, well, well, isn’ it wonderful when the hype about a book turns out to be true? This novel had the perfect combination of things that I love in a good book. A historical-fiction plot based in WWII (one of my favourite settings), strong and dynamic female characters, great writing, and a few surprises in store at the end. If this book has been on your TBR pile, it’s time to go and pick it up!

The Last Wish
I am ecstatic to have found another fantasy series that I’m in love with and I will definitely be devouring every book in this series. After playing some of the Witcher games it was a nice surprise to find out that there was also a book series. This novel really stuck with me and is a quality fantasy read. Needless to say, I don’t plan on leaving the Witcher world anytime soon.

Confederacy of Dunces
One of most hilarious and clever books I’ve ever read. The writing and character work in this novel is nothing short of brilliant and it pains me to think of the talent with lost with the author’s early passing. This book would appeal to anyway the read and loved Don Quixote or who is interested in misadventure stories with unique protagonists.

A Chorus of Mushrooms
I received this poetic and Murakami-esqe book as a gift this year and it was the most beautiful story I read this year. It details 3 generations of Japanese-Canadians and the importance of family and personal identity. Stay tuned for the full review of this book soon.

The Monsters We Deserve
If you have ever read Frankenstein, then you need to read this little known book. This short novel leaves the reader wondering what actually happens to the narrator and how much of this tense story is real or metaphorical. The writing is smart, highly creative and very well-paced making for an engaging read.

Non-Fiction:

Educated
There are many memoirs out there that are written by pretentious and self-important people that make for dull reads, which is generally why I don’t read too many. Then there are memoirs that detail the life of a seemingly ordinary person that has led the most remarkable life and has overcome challenges that many of us can’t even envision. This is one of those memoirs. Well-written and very engaging, this book is worth the hype.

Know My Name
I hope Chanel Miller makes millions with this book. Chanel is the young woman who was sexually assaulted by Brock Turner. This is her story and what a story it is. It’s phenomenally written and ridiculously engaging. 

The Way Through The Woods
Since my family and I experienced our own intense personal grief this year, I picked up this in hopes it might be an interesting read and be able to recommend it. This book snuck up on me. It’s half about the author’s personal mourning with the other half detailing facts about mushrooms and how learning about them helped the author deal with her grief. It’s both interesting and educational and provided me with insights on grief that stuck with me long after finishing it.

Stiff
Keeping on the theme of grief and death this was another book that appealed to me in 2019. Mary Roach approaches cadavers in a very entertaining, informative and tactful manner. She observes and interviews the intricate lives of those doing the less-than-glamorous work with corpses while also exploring the strategies they use in order to cope and maintain their humanity with the surreal nature of their jobs.

Perfectly Hidden Depression
The author of this book is shedding light on an area of depression that requires some serious attention. Her writing is personable, concise, insightful, informative, resourceful and clinical.  Perfectly hidden depression presents differently than your standard depression and after years of experience with patients, this author felt the need to draw attention to the behaviour she was seeing. Read my review to see if you fit this subset of depression.

Educated by Tara Westover

“My life was narrated for me by others. Their voices were forceful, emphatic, absolute. It had never occurred to me that my voice might be as strong as theirs.”

Better late than never right? Thanks to all of my followers who have been patient with me and my posts while I grieve. I’ve still got a long way to go but it feels good to start to resume some of my normal routines and hobbies.

4/5 stars.
Paperback, 334 pages.
Read from September 22, 2019 to September 27, 2019.

There are many memoirs out there that are written by pretentious and self-important people that make for dull reads, which is generally why I don’t read too many. Then there are memoirs that detail the life of a seemingly ordinary person that has led the most remarkable life and has overcome challenges that many of us can’t even envision. This is one of those memoirs.

Tara grew up in a strict Mormon family plagued by fanatical religion, paranoia, and unaddressed mental health issues in rural Idaho. Her father believed that the government couldn’t be relied on for anything including medical care and education and was constantly preparing for the end of days. Tara’s mother was thrown into midwifery to help the family get by and relied strictly on herbs and essential oils to treat all medical ailments or injuries. Tara has six siblings most of which, like herself, have been unaware of what the outside world could teach them or what was available to them out of the reach of their father’s influence. Tara discusses the wildly unsafe work her father subjected her and siblings to in the junkyard as well as horrific injuries that some of the family members sustained during this work or travel.  Tara details the mental and physical abuse imbibed on her by her older brother Shawn and how her family allowed it to continue. How Tara and a few of her siblings managed to lift themselves out of this destructive family is nothing short of remarkable. Tara attended school for the first time at the age of seventeen. This book chronicles her choices, struggles, failures, and successes in learning to become her own person while stepping away, yet still loving her dysfunctional family.

“You can love someone and still choose to say goodbye to them,” she says now. “You can miss a person every day, and still be glad that they are no longer in your life.”

Despite being subjected to years of gaslighting, brainwashing, and emotional abuse, Tara managed to get a PhD and still find peace with her family and her upbringing. Despite internalising much of the abuse, Tara came to realise that there were small blessings in her upbringing as it gave her a unique hunger to excel in her education that many of her peers didn’t have. Tara slowly learned to find confidence in her own abilities and intelligence in which she then learned that she could decide how to see the world for herself.

Tara’s writing is honest and mindful as she tries to be as accurate to her memories and as well as that of her family’s recollections of pinnacle events in their lives. She walks you through her thought process at the time by including diary entries and then reflects on them. There are moments in this memoir that will literally make your jaw drop. I know for me, without spoiling anything, it was the medical trauma her father and brother survived. I mean, I think I might put all my faith in God too if I overcame such trauma without medical intervention. Tara’s writing is concise, engaging, neutral, yet welcoming. You sort of feel like you’re a close of friend of Tara’s and once in a while over coffee, she details her past life.

If you’re not into memoirs, this one might convert you as it’s worthy of all the hype it’s received. I didn’t want to put this book down. This book would appeal to just about anyone and would make an excellent book club selection.