Mark Manson on Self-Knowledge

“Believe what’s helpful, not what’s true.”

4/5 stars.
ebook, 22 pages.
Read November 21, 2017.

Quirky, interesting and well-researched, Manson gives some straightforward tips on how to be more self-aware, and, in general, be a better you by taking more control of your life. Especially for things that you weren’t even aware you could control or that have power over you. I enjoyed this read which spurred me to read his book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life which, I later regretted reading and will review later to detail why. While Manson is insightful and offers some poignant points, he has lived a charmed life which is slightly annoying to read about. I am not sure if my irritation on his charmed life is valid or if it just validates his points and perspectives on life and is reflective of my own failures… but we won’t broach that.

As a stand-alone piece, this is definitely worthy of a read. It a no bullshit/no self-help-nonsense approach to our thought processes and the basics of how we react and create our own successes and failures. Manson tactfully adds in some inspiring stories and research on people that relate to his points which are very intriguing to read. Some of Manson’s points derive from Buddhist principals as Manson discusses our emotions and how our beliefs shape these emotions and ultimately, as a result, our successes/failures. It finishes with the kicker on how to be accountable and take responsibility for all of your emotions and your beliefs.

This read is very short. Technically it is a combination of three articles that Manson has put into one piece. Who doesn’t like a short read? And it’s FREE! You can download a copy of this by subscribing to Manson’s newsletter. So, what are you waiting for?

Moody Bitches by Julie Holland

“Medication can make a bad situation tolerable and mask the need for change.”

“We are not men. We are women. We feel more deeply, express our emotions more frequently, and get moody monthly. It’s normal. It’s nature’s way. And we don’t necessarily have to medicate away the essence of who we are to make others more comfortable.”

4/5 stars.
ebook, 432 pages.
Read from September 17, 2017 to September 26, 2017.

I will admit, this is not normally the type of book I would read but after a bad batch of PMS symptoms that I am just getting reacquainted with, I felt I needed a bit of reassurance and validation with my lady cycles. You see, I came off the birth control pill for a variety of reasons after being on it for 13 years. That is a long time to take a medication regardless of its positives (like, you know not having babies). After coming off the pill I came to realize just out of sync I was with my body and coming to the realization that I had not had to deal with any of these natural symptoms since I was a teenager. tenor

This book discusses how to deal with your body’s natural monthly hormonal changes and how society has stifled them. The author also delicately talks about the use of other medications and how they affect your mood and other aspects of your life and just how society views women and our perceived neurosis. She always enforces that many of these medications are necessary for a lot of people and encourages the reader to analyze their own use and assess it. She finds a good balance between discussing our natural cycles and how medications can affect us as women without being accusatory or denying the importance of medications. The author also subtly endorses the use of cannabis. I am not a user, nor will I likely ever be but I can’t deny the science behind its use. It is important to note that the author is a legit psychiatrist and her work is full of science-based references in facts with everything that she writes about

<blockquote>”The problem with taking your happy pills and puttering along as before is that it’s no better than sweeping dirt under the carpet. I want you to take that rug out back and beat the hell out of it.”</blockquote>

You cannot deny the benefits of birth control and the liberation that it has brought to women for so many reasons but what is not discussed, ever, is the potential side effects it has on women’s health and that fact that it is currently the millennial generation that has become a guinea pig to its long-term use. The pill is amazing and is very much needed but I was never told of any side effects of being on it and it is not something that is ever discussed in the doctor’s office and it needs to be. I feel more mentally stable after coming off the pill. I have had friends who were not themselves while they were on the pill as they had trouble with being a weepy and depressed mess. Like many other women, I also lost my sex drive while on birth control and my ability to have an orgasm while on other medication.

Women’s bodies go through a variety of hormone changes throughout the month of our cycle and we are never really taught about each stage and how to deal and welcome it. Instead, as a society, we stifle our feelings and natural cycles with Midol, anti-anxiety/depressant pills and hormonal birth control and are told that we are irrational and that our feelings are not valid. That is a major problem. It is no surprise that so many women drink, don’t get enough sleep and doubt their self-worth. We medicate away our problems, often with added side-effects, to deny ourselves our emotions and lack to find value in them. For example, that same anxiety that you may feel is also what makes you good at your job or a good parent, provided that it is not debilitating these are natural emotions that the author finds do not need to be medicated as often as they do based on her observances of the women that have frequented her office. By reconnecting with our natural cycles the author advocates for an improved well-being for women.

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While the book provides some solutions, mostly cannabis-based, the value in this book comes from the facts and information that this doctor provides in recognizing your own cycles and with validating our experiences and feelings as women.

As silly as I felt purchasing and reading this book I am so glad that I did. I think that every woman needs this book as a re-education for their well being and sexual self  Ladies, take care of yourselves and be a badass ass moody bitches.

Get It Done When You’re Depressed by Julie A. Fast

3/5 stars.
ebook, 270 pages.
Read from August 26 to October 07, 2014.

As I usually do with most of the self-help books I read, I took my time. What was refreshing with this book is that it helped me to realize that some of my thoughts and even behaviors are not actually who I am. That when I wake up in the morning and that cloud is lingering over me, I know that I may have difficulties with what I expected to get done that day, that my negative thoughts are a result of my depression and that my brain is lying to me as a result. In recognizing when I’m struggling, I know that I can put out the extra effort to push past as much as I can and still be productive or at least be kind to myself that day if it’s particularly bad.

The author’s main suggestions are in regards to self-recognition and knowing when your depression is taking hold and when your thoughts and behaviors can’t be trusted,  along with suggestions to stay focused and organized. The author also provides plenty of exercises to help the reader along. Additionally, she lays down the science behind getting enough sleep, the importance of exercise and the effects that alcohol and caffeine can have on a depressed brain. What was also very interesting was that at the end of each chapters she poses a question or scenario that relates to the content that was just discussed so that you can get the scientific explanation to that question.

Many people have complained that this book is too straight forward or that if they had tried the author’s suggestions it would have made their depression worse for them but I disagree to an extent. I believe that this book is directed to people with mild to moderate depression, so those of us who are held together enough to not be hospitalized and are of no harm to ourselves or others. While depression sucks all around, no matter how bad you have it, the less severe it is the more we are able to deal with it and I feel that this book is a great aid for the milder situations. The information may be straight forward in some areas but how many of those complaining have willingly tried and put forth positive energy into applying the authors methods? Everything is harder when you’re depressed so it takes more effort to try the exercises and recommendations but, like anything in life, the hard stuff is often worth it.

I think that there are a few stages that a sufferer goes through with depression. The beginning starts with the unawareness which is the pre-diagnosis, the second stage is that recognition and the diagnosis, and the third is how the person chooses to deal with the situation. Depression has a horrible way of making the sufferer very negative and more often than not during the third stage, the sufferer victimizes and feel sorry for themselves at some point. I think many people sadly, are not able to move past this victimization. With this victimization the sufferer believes that they are their condition and that nothing will ever change, therefore handing over all of their power, control, and ultimately their life over to the condition. This is why, I think some people scoff at the exercises and suggestions that the authors makes.

The suggestions, I think to a person in this position, seem to mock their suffering in that they didn’t ask for depression so they don’t need to be accountable for it. However, nobody asks for depression and just like a lot of things in life you have to learn to adapt and to deal. One of the most difficult things I’ve done has been recognizing my own depression for what it is, stop being angry that it’s there, and learn to manage my life with it. Nothing happens over night, so repetition and practice are key to leading a life with depression which, is where this book comes in handy. Everyone is different to so not everyone’s coping methods will be the same. Some people require more compassion while others need a tough love approach.

I believe that people who are dealing with mild to moderate depression don’t have to let it consume their lives. Depression really blows and the effects from it can be overwhelming but the best plan of action is recognizing its presence and not giving up your control to it. It’s a matter of trying to alter our focus and knowing that we have choices and we have options.

My one complaint with the book is that the chapters seemed a bit repetitive after a while in that the relayed very similar information. I mean, if practice and repetition are key I suppose this isn’t a terrible thing, it just made for some tedious reading.

Overall I really enjoyed the books message and I have noticed a difference in my own work flow since reading this book. I highly recommend this book to anyone dealing with depression.