The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson

Straight forward approach, sure, but is the information anything all that revolutionary? And should we be taking advice from someone who has clearly had a pretty charmed life?

2/5 stars.
Paperback,  212 pages.
Read from December 19, 2017 to December 26, 2017.

I decided to give this book a go after reading and enjoying a few of Manson’s articles. However, after enjoying the first few pages the book soon started to unravel and instead of feeling enlightened, I just felt annoyed.

This book has been very successful after having been hailed the anti-self-help novel with Manson’s direct approach and insights intermingled with swearing and a dose of poop jokes, it seems like a self-help book has finally hit the mark in reaching out and understanding the millennial generation. Right? Not exactly. Manson really seemed to enjoy talking about how many girls he use to bang, that he grew up fairly wealthy and about all the great places he has lived abroad. While Manson did put in a ton of work into his writing to be successful, it can’t be denied that he lived a charmed life that does not compare to the average-joe which, is hilarious because while he advocates for people to learn to deal with the trials of life instead of the mantra of “think positively” that many other self-help books advise. It isn’t bad advice in and of itself it’s just entertaining in a way coming from someone who writes about all the great things he has done.

Manson also talks about how social media has changed the meaning of extraordinary to be the new normal, which ends up defeating the purpose of something being extraordinary if everyone can do it. That, I can agree on. I think social media has created a lot of problems for the millennial generation in terms of their self-worth and where they feel they should stack up with others. Issues, that previous generations did not have to face full-blown numerous times a day with no end in sight.

“Our crisis is no longer material; it’s existential, it’s spiritual. We have so much fucking stuff and so many opportunities that we don’t even know what to give a fuck about anymore.”

However, Manson then goes on to explain how we should accept our normalcy and that we would be a lot happier if we accepted that we are not going to achieve everything that we dream about. Again, hilarious coming from the guy who has achieved massive success with his writing and in his personal life. Even though the real point he is trying to make is that we should focus our energy on the things that matter and that will bring us more success and happiness. Again, good advice.

“Not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault.”

The advice in this book is solid. I can’t deny that, but I would go from agreeing with Manson’s blunt sentiments and thinking about how I could apply to my own life, to rolling my eyes when he alluded to his own life again. I just could not get over feeling annoyed that he was the one giving me this advice. His smug attitude and humour were only amusing for the first twenty pages and there is only so much swearing and joking around that can cover it up.

The book makes reference to some interesting stories and academics and I particularly enjoyed the details Manson included on Willam James, the father of modern psychology. I mean, that is a guy who I would comfortably take life advice from!

Now the irritation that plagued me through this book, is it valid or is it just validating Manson’s points and perspectives on life and is only reflective of my own failures? I am going to say both. It natural to be envious of someone’s success and that can lead to feeling inspired and motivated but the tone of the book is too smug and did nothing but inspired disdain by the time I finished it.

“The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it.”

Additionally, Manson made a terrible choice in alluding to false rape accusations in his section on false memories and beliefs. Yeah, seriously… It’s really distasteful and invalidating to rape victims as so many of them do not report their abuse out of fear or not being believed.

If you can separate the man and the ego away from the advice that he is giving than this book won’t be a complete loss to you if you end up reading it. I do think you could find the poignant advice from someone else however if the tone of the book doesn’t sit well with you.

“You and everyone you know are going to be dead soon. And in the short amount of time between here and there, you have a limited amount of fucks to give. Very few, in fact. And if you go around giving a fuck about everything and everyone without conscious thought or choice—well, then you’re going to get fucked.”

Overall, I am glad that Manson has been successful in his life to the point that he feels the need to share it. Good for him. Truly. But he is far from wise and still has a lot to learn, like the rest of us.

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Mark Manson on Self-Knowledge

“Believe what’s helpful, not what’s true.”

4/5 stars.
ebook, 22 pages.
Read November 21, 2017.

Quirky, interesting and well-researched, Manson gives some straightforward tips on how to be more self-aware, and, in general, be a better you by taking more control of your life. Especially for things that you weren’t even aware you could control or that have power over you. I enjoyed this read which spurred me to read his book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life which, I later regretted reading and will review later to detail why. While Manson is insightful and offers some poignant points, he has lived a charmed life which is slightly annoying to read about. I am not sure if my irritation on his charmed life is valid or if it just validates his points and perspectives on life and is reflective of my own failures… but we won’t broach that.

As a stand-alone piece, this is definitely worthy of a read. It a no bullshit/no self-help-nonsense approach to our thought processes and the basics of how we react and create our own successes and failures. Manson tactfully adds in some inspiring stories and research on people that relate to his points which are very intriguing to read. Some of Manson’s points derive from Buddhist principals as Manson discusses our emotions and how our beliefs shape these emotions and ultimately, as a result, our successes/failures. It finishes with the kicker on how to be accountable and take responsibility for all of your emotions and your beliefs.

This read is very short. Technically it is a combination of three articles that Manson has put into one piece. Who doesn’t like a short read? And it’s FREE! You can download a copy of this by subscribing to Manson’s newsletter. So, what are you waiting for?

Moody Bitches by Julie Holland

“Medication can make a bad situation tolerable and mask the need for change.”

“We are not men. We are women. We feel more deeply, express our emotions more frequently, and get moody monthly. It’s normal. It’s nature’s way. And we don’t necessarily have to medicate away the essence of who we are to make others more comfortable.”

4/5 stars.
ebook, 432 pages.
Read from September 17, 2017 to September 26, 2017.

I will admit, this is not normally the type of book I would read but after a bad batch of PMS symptoms that I am just getting reacquainted with, I felt I needed a bit of reassurance and validation with my lady cycles. You see, I came off the birth control pill for a variety of reasons after being on it for 13 years. That is a long time to take a medication regardless of its positives (like, you know not having babies). After coming off the pill I came to realize just out of sync I was with my body and coming to the realization that I had not had to deal with any of these natural symptoms since I was a teenager. tenor

This book discusses how to deal with your body’s natural monthly hormonal changes and how society has stifled them. The author also delicately talks about the use of other medications and how they affect your mood and other aspects of your life and just how society views women and our perceived neurosis. She always enforces that many of these medications are necessary for a lot of people and encourages the reader to analyze their own use and assess it. She finds a good balance between discussing our natural cycles and how medications can affect us as women without being accusatory or denying the importance of medications. The author also subtly endorses the use of cannabis. I am not a user, nor will I likely ever be but I can’t deny the science behind its use. It is important to note that the author is a legit psychiatrist and her work is full of science-based references in facts with everything that she writes about

<blockquote>”The problem with taking your happy pills and puttering along as before is that it’s no better than sweeping dirt under the carpet. I want you to take that rug out back and beat the hell out of it.”</blockquote>

You cannot deny the benefits of birth control and the liberation that it has brought to women for so many reasons but what is not discussed, ever, is the potential side effects it has on women’s health and that fact that it is currently the millennial generation that has become a guinea pig to its long-term use. The pill is amazing and is very much needed but I was never told of any side effects of being on it and it is not something that is ever discussed in the doctor’s office and it needs to be. I feel more mentally stable after coming off the pill. I have had friends who were not themselves while they were on the pill as they had trouble with being a weepy and depressed mess. Like many other women, I also lost my sex drive while on birth control and my ability to have an orgasm while on other medication.

Women’s bodies go through a variety of hormone changes throughout the month of our cycle and we are never really taught about each stage and how to deal and welcome it. Instead, as a society, we stifle our feelings and natural cycles with Midol, anti-anxiety/depressant pills and hormonal birth control and are told that we are irrational and that our feelings are not valid. That is a major problem. It is no surprise that so many women drink, don’t get enough sleep and doubt their self-worth. We medicate away our problems, often with added side-effects, to deny ourselves our emotions and lack to find value in them. For example, that same anxiety that you may feel is also what makes you good at your job or a good parent, provided that it is not debilitating these are natural emotions that the author finds do not need to be medicated as often as they do based on her observances of the women that have frequented her office. By reconnecting with our natural cycles the author advocates for an improved well-being for women.

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While the book provides some solutions, mostly cannabis-based, the value in this book comes from the facts and information that this doctor provides in recognizing your own cycles and with validating our experiences and feelings as women.

As silly as I felt purchasing and reading this book I am so glad that I did. I think that every woman needs this book as a re-education for their well being and sexual self  Ladies, take care of yourselves and be a badass ass moody bitches.